MARRIAGE N' MONEY
- Feb 17, 2017
- 4 min read
mar·riage
ˈmerij/
noun: marriage; plural noun: marriage is
the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship
Marriage eventually becomes a major goal for everyone. We spend years molding this perfect husband or wife in our minds from our adolescent years. Then, one day it happens; you meet the person of your dreams. You date for a while, the big proposal occurs and you're on your way to the married life, but you haven't talked about one thing: money. For some reason, that can't be explained, money is always this top secret topic that people fail to discuss when single, dating or married. Even if it hurts and we need help, people leave the money discussion off the table. The toughest part about this is that the problem is multiplied when more than one person is involved. You need to know what kind of lifestyle that person wants. How many kids do they want, how many vacations a year, are luxury clothing items a "necessity", do they have a mountain of debt? All of these are legitimate questions that need discussed because they all cost money and can put plans on halt for one of you. The mixing of two mindsets in the area of finances can truly be detrimental if not handled quickly and preferably before the 'knot is tied'.
Deuteronomy 22:9-10
Do not plant two kinds of seed in your vineyard; if you do, not only the crops you plant but also the fruit of the vineyard will be defiled. Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together.”
When we marry another person without knowing their financial aspirations this can cause quite the problem. Deuteronomy 22:9-10 states "Do not plant two kinds of seed in your vineyard; if you do, not only the crops you plant but also the fruit of the vineyard will be defiled. Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together." The verse mentioned addresses the mixing of seeds to produce crops and the plowing of land by two completely different animals to prepare a field. These mixed seeds and mixed livestock will not produce the outcome that is hoped for. Just as that verse describes, how can you and your partner move forward or produce fruitful crops if you’re moving in opposite directions regarding your finances? This type of situation leads to terrible endings such as financial infidelity, debt increasing and bankruptcy. One partner is digging a hole financially while the other has no idea the damage being done. In terms of the business world, marriage should be treated as a partnership instead of a sole proprietorship where each person is running their own show. Money should be referred to as ours most times instead of "me", "my" and "mine". Today I am going to present three reasons why money discussions and cooperation in the financial realm is VERY important within marriage.
maximized income, savings and investment potential
The covenant we call marriage usually has intentions to be something that lasts forever. You have to share the rest of your life with, at a minimum, one other person. It should be a priority for both of you to cooperate in all areas of life to make them a success, especially finances. Teamwork REALLY makes the dream work with this specific topic. Being true partners and coordination on money making decisions can result is amazing results. You can tackle debt, build a house down-payment, save for a big vacation or save for a business start-up quicker with two incomes than with one. When you say "I do", you become ONE in all areas and it should lasts until death do us part. Don't allow it to end up being "Till debt do us part." No matter how tough, the money discussions and planning must be had TOGETHER.
SPIRITUAL RESPONSIBILITY AND FRUITFUL RESULTS
The Bible frequently provides teachings and explains the role of tithing and giving to the poor in the Church. What if you marry a person that attends church and tithes faithfully 10% from each paycheck, but you don't? What if a person wants to give away money to a certain charity. If this is not discussed, one partner may think the other is wasting money by giving away a portion of their income to Church or charity. Discussing this before marriage is really important. Tithing is such a strong concept in the Christian community and to be split on this concept can lead to some very heated discussions, I'm sure. Being on the same page about things like this will determine the blessings you receive in return for your willful giving. Honoring the Lord in this area will result in your life being filled with plenty and a future of overflow.
LIFESTYLE
Everyone has their own idea of the type of lifestyle they want to live. Lifestyle includes some of the following: amount of children, car lease vs. car ownership, buying a house or renting forever, frequent travel, home size, etc. Lifestyle capability is something that can change over time, but the communication regarding this is a #majorkey. For instance, if a saver marries a spender that has no plans on slowing down their spending, it will absolutely drive you crazy. It will also result in certain plans not being met, like saving up for your childrens' college. On the other hand, cooperation and communication can lead to compromise and your ideas of lifestyle will be in sync with one another, leading to a happier life with your spouse.
COVENANT VS. CONTRACT
Many marriages exist today where the union is treated as a contracted agreement instead of a covenant relationship. The only way that a maximized financial future, lifestyle and financial spiritual responsibilities can be executed is if your marriage is treated as a covenant. Here are some comparisons:
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